“I want 5 kids.” – Nick Brezinski
My crazy husband said those words to me when I was 20 years old!! Oh how I wish I had a picture of my face after that statement. It took me a while, like a couple years, to wrap my mind around that. But eventually we were ready to stop practicing and actually try to make a kid. God’s promise from earlier was still pretty fresh in my mind so it was easy to think oh we’ll just let it happen when its supposed to happen. Month after month I would try to remember that promise. I wanted to be like the tree by the water.
Four years later… By this time, I’m worried. We’ve not even had a hint of a pregnancy. We talk about mentioning it to my doctor, but I’m scared. I tend to be like an ostrich with its head in the sand. If I don’t address a problem then its not really a problem, right? One year after that, I finally decided to woman up and talk with my doctor about it. Time was getting short to knock out those 5 kids.
Enter the great doctors and nurses at Carolina Conceptions. The next 2 years were some of the craziest, and most hormonal, days of my life. All I can say about Nick is that he is a saint. What felt like a hundred tests, a surgery, medications, injections, IUI and more ultrasounds than I care to remember later and still no baby. The staff at Carolina Conceptions were all exceptional, but there’s no doctor anywhere that can work against God’s will.
And speaking of God’s will, I’ll be honest & say I was not a fan of it at the time. He knows this, as I’ve told Him many times how I felt about it. In my mind that promise from 6 years ago didn’t hold the same weight now as it did then. I struggled, big time. I was super jealous of EVERY pregnant woman I saw, so if you know North Wake Church (also known as Wake Forest’s very own baby factory) you know that Sundays were tortuous. I even struggled to be happy for friends who were getting pregnant! I knew how I was feeling was wrong but I couldn’t control it. Rather than doing what I should have and turning to God for support and guidance, I did the opposite and ran the other direction. I doubted that promise, simply because it wasn’t coming true as fast as I thought it should! Talk about pride right?
All it took was a break from the attempted baby making by way of a ACL reconstruction, 2 years of school and a lot of prayer to give me a new perspective…
A Promised Addition 